CHANGES

Sekela Thambikeni is a high school graduate who is currently taking a gap year teaching a variety of the arts. She has a deep passion for the expressive arts (art, music, dance, theater, public speaking and writing) believing that it is more than just a performance but also a manifestation of one’s true self. She is the Co-founder of Tanzania Social Reconstruction Africa. A Company that aims to help elevate the middle class children of Tanzania using the Arts to begin to establish a positive outlet of expression. She is also a Politics and Social Development Aspirant who desires to input Godly Kingdom agendas in Politics.

Who am I?
I was molded, created, formed
then birthed into a clutter of norms.
I open my eyes to a world so uniformed,
crowds of cold faces and roads.
My life was to be a show and yes, I performed.

See the thing is I had a role;
I was given the act of the perfect soul.
Scream, jump, shout, run, and breathe.
Not once, not ever, just keep it under control
so in my emptiness I was whole.
At least that’s what I told myself again and again
To calm the storm and keep me sane
from the overwhelmed domain of my brain,
these four corners, no window.

And if this was a boundary I was chained,
if this was suffering I was in severe pain,
if this was disability, I was beyond blame.
And the change was unheard of because
I was certain I would always crawl this way.

But if you looked closely through the crack in my wall
you would notice:
I was a stranger in my own body.
Like a lost foreigner in a 5 star hotel lobby
trying to get to the elevator
but only reaching reception on she was quite snobby.

It was like everywhere I went I looked like Harry Potter
but felt like Dobby.
What’s Worse, I believed that I was.
I believed I was left out,
always in doubt,
my smile; a constant pout.
Thinking about what I didn’t have.
No windows I was blinded,
short sighted, completely divided.

Full course, face to face with myself
before she was just another book on the shelf.
Left open, so transparent
like a good without a warrant
No guarantee.
Except one thing,
One thing that was constant through my season.

One name that gave me reason
One word that cured me of my treason ,
One march that aligned my step ,
One salute to pay my respects
one cry to drown out the anthems,
to silence political tantrums,
One vision that cured my sight ,
That vision ,that’s Jesus Christ

Because my walls my corners, my windows are nothing.
I may be here fussing and shoving
Screaming at every door He is shutting
but I didn’t realize that He’s got me.

He doesn’t see me as lost Dobby in the lobby
He saw me as somebody.
Somebody worth that TLC
So He overflows in me like oil in BP.
To him am not a role that I have to play,
am a child that he wants to save.

He filled my emptiness with a love worth
making me whole
So complete I didn’t need a soul mate.
Another soul that would excavate
another hollow debt,
Another soul that never paid rent ,
He made me see that am important
That I am a treasure chest,
highly blessed
All factors rising with the sun in the West ,
Orbiting changes? Yes!

And it was only when I let him mold me beyond my creation,
form me beyond my expectation ,
water me to my hydration
Then I understood who I was ,
so I ask again one last time to testify ,
who am I?

Love,S.K

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